Certain, are we?

The three simple words "I don't know" seem so foreign and have this grind of uncertainty that is uncomfortable to feel. Growing up as a child, I forever felt this pressure to "know" things.

I had to know what the derivative of y=2x was.

I had to know that I must get married one day in order to live the "good life" (along with a house, a car, and two or three children, of course).

I had to know that I could achieve what whatever my individualistic, selfish mind wanted to grab.

Then, I encountered a verse in The Book that slapped in the face and continues to slap me today. It is Proverbs 3:5-6:


"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

At first glance, this seems to be a wonderfully packaged cliche that we spew all the time to explain God's divine providence over the unexpected. However, I have discovered this simple truth to be a cacophonous yet beautiful paradox. How do we trust in the Lord? With the heart alone- we do not cogitate trust in the Uncreated One. Why? Because we should not lean on or trust in our own cogitations.

But, then the next verse states to "acknowledge him in all of your ways." Acknowledging, admitting, thinking upon, cogitating him. So, the very disposition that I am told to "lean not" on is the very approach that I am using to acknowledge His guiding presence. My foundational understanding should be that God is leading me. Therefore, I am leaning on and thinking about him in all of my ways, so that I allow him to direct my path.

A slight change needs to occur in our minds. Instead of leaning on our on understanding about our cogitations on life, we need to lean on our understanding of God- knowing that no matter what crooked paths my own cogitations have led me to, He is present to make my paths straight. He makes them right. He makes them. When I don't know about (fill in blank)- God is there to make the cogitations about (fill in blank) straight paths.

All in all, the response of "I don't know" is okay. I pray for the desire only to go where He goes, say what He says, and do what He wants.

"I don't know where I'm going.
I've been blinded by the truth.
Between the graveyard and the garden,
There's a road that leads to You." - Jason Upton